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califonia by ~jolly-green-giant:iconjolly-green-giant:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Family Life > Open


California,

my home,

the one place I can go to be alone,

the place I was born,

the place I grew up,

the place I learned how to walk,

how to speak, and ride a bike.

the place where I found love,

the place where my heart was broken,

and stomped on,
©2005-2009 ~jolly-green-giant
:iconjolly-green-giant:

Author's Comments

this is a poem im writing for one of my classes at school. please comment

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:iconbluemoondaughter:
~bluemoondaughter Jan 19, 2005, 1:10:25 PM
a great way to expand on this poem would be to describe each line with events, memories, images, for example california is the place you were born, when were you born, where, what you think your birth was like; california is the place where your heart was broken, who broke it, where did it happen, where in california did you go with the person that broke your heart, there are hundreds of great poems inside of this, it is a good poem that can help you write many more

--
ericalee
:iconsoulcalibur20003:
~soulcalibur20003 Jan 21, 2005, 8:16:09 AM
since its not done yet i can't give you a full comment, but i like it a lot, its a good transition from story of your life to a recent event it seems, and i want to see where you take it

--
Life is a maze where all paths lead to the same exit
:iconskydream:
~skydream Jun 3, 2005, 3:57:26 PM
california has connotations, birth and heartbreak has connotations, bikes are free and free-falling. for a good description of california, heartbreak and love, read dave eggers a heartbreaking work of staggering genius. simple language is not bad. just do not make your poem boring. WHY is it written like this, WHY do we want to see salvation, or hurt, or life, through your writing. we must see more.

watch dead poets society.
i was a east coaster
now a californian.

--
'if you want to see the future
go stare into a cloud'
poetry @ skydream: [link]
photo @ skysight: [link]
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January 18, 2005
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